Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, without further adieu, I present: THE RIDE’s Guide to RIDing the Subway Like a Boss. So here you are, in beautiful New York City, and you’re feeling like you’ve got the vibe. You’re hailing cabs, becoming opinionated about pizza, and gluing yourself to your iPhone while walking down the street. You feel like you’re ready to take the next step and go underground.
Riding the subway is the only real way to boost your New York City street cred without actually living here. (As a side note, those from New Jersey who visit or commute will never attain any such street cred. I don’t care how many metro cards you have.) The first step to riding the subway is to purchase the right amount of RIDEs on your metrocard. If you are going to be here for a week, there is no need to get a month’s worth of rides. Go to the ticket window at the nearest station and politely ask the attendant. Your politeness will go a long way.
Next, when you are on your way in to the subway station, check the signs at the turnstyles. You don’t want to be the person trying to get through the wrong way while commuters heckle you for being oblivious. If the arrow is green, go ahead, swipe your metrocard. Then swipe it again because these machines are ancient and don’t work too well. You might be swiping for five to ten minutes before the turnstyle allows you through. The MTA suggests you wear loose fitting athletic clothing in case you work up a sweat swiping your card.
Hopefully, you’re in the right station and have checked the map to find out which train to take to your destination. I won’t get into how to read the map, but since you are among the educated elite of blog readers I cater to, I’ll assume you’ve got a bit of worldliness about you and can figure this out. So wait around quietly with other subway goers until your train comes. You may think that the quietness of the station is due to your presence and may feel a bit awkward. Don’t worry, this is normal. Just enjoy the peace and sounds of rats gnawing on the mysteries that lurk below the platform.
Last but not least, be courteous to your fellow subway commuters. Move to the middle of the car if it’s crowded so that others can make their way in or out. Don’t wake up the person who’s sleeping. It’s a bad idea that you’ll later regret. Pay attention, and don’t miss your stop! If you missed anything here, we’ll go over it again the next time you RIDE. That’s right, I’ve got state-of-the-art subway simulators so you can practice your subway surfing stance before you get out there and shred those tunnels. That’s all for today folks!