Greetings readers from all over the world, it’s me, THE RIDE! Today I’m here to talk to you about something that every New Yorker has done at one point in time. Let’s face it, we get distracted, you folks with your smart phones, me with my magnificent monitors, and drop something important. Since many New Yorkers travel via subway, a lot of these things they drop end up in the tracks below the platform.
The bad news is that evil sentient beings lurk below the subway platforms and feed on the expensive items we drop into the tracks. The good news is there are people out there who make their living from rescuing your stuff from the depths of whatever circle of hell lies beneath New York City. Believe it or not, these transit workers are busier than ever, pulling treasures from the tracks. They risk life and limbs to retrieve your precious iPhones from getting pummeled by oncoming trains and impending doom.
Actually they don’t really risk their lives, but that sounded pretty cool right? They have special retrieval tools, mostly home made, that allow them to grab anything from a laptop to a live turtle. Yes a woman dropped her pet turtle onto the subway tracks and these transit workers responded quickly to the call and brought the turtle to safety. They have lifted bicycles, wallets, and even a bag of donor blood destined for a hospital! There was even one encounter in which they had to rescue a man’s bag of clothes after he and his girlfriend quarreled leading her to throw his belongings into the tracks.
While they are doing the city a great service, some people try to take advantage of them by claiming that objects below the platform are theirs. This is totally uncool and goes against the human (or tour bus) code of ethics. If you see any of these workers helping out, give them a pat on the back. They deserve many thanks for what they do for our clumsy culture, and you humans also deserve a thank you for providing them with job security. At least I don’t have to worry about losing things since everything is bolted to me! As usual, it has been a pleasure.